I woke up tipsy... I'm off to work now. It's really winter and i feel cold. I hate him Shawn i really hate hi8m. He is really good in pissing me off. no matter how hard i try to ignore i still lose my composure. I just don't understand why he won't let me go. He knows i love you. He can't blame me for falling in love with you. He never give me enough reason to stay with him. I have loved him but he gave me nothing but miseries. I have stood for him, defended him for almost 6 yrs. now but what did he gave me in return? he gave me the biggest heartache in my life. All those years i have lived in despair. And i was glad that you came and consoled me. But he is just too selfish to give me my freedom. So many times i had wish i'd never knew him, never loved him. But then again i realized i became the person that i am now because of him. I became strong in every pain he gave me, in every suffering he caused me. He keeps saying he loves me. But why all the hurt? all the pain? all the suffering. I never found in him the loved you gave me. you have loved me for so many years and you never gave up even though i never loved you back all those years. But now, you're off to some land unknown to me. It made me long for you even more. Wish we had enough time when you're still here. I guess God has a better plan for both of us. I never lose hope and i hope you would feel the same. take care my love.