Dear Shawn,
How are you my dear friend? How long has it been since I last
posted here? I guess time is fleeting I never realized it’s been way to
long. A lot of things had happened to me,
friends come and go but still I feel trapped and the same. Funny, I sometimes
feel oblivious that another year has passed. I don’t know how and where to
start telling you of the things that had happened to me because somehow I feel
it’s still the same.
I guess I’ll start
by telling you the untold stories…. It’s raining here right now and the sounds
of the dripping rain keep resounding continuously inside my head. Memories
started flooding in…. this post will be long but I wanted to get back with
those lost time. And I’ll be sharing with you all those untold stories of the
past for you to better understand me … Ohhhh before I forgot I got myself a new
puppy and she keeps me company tonight =) she is very adorable and I love her so
much…..
Excerpt 1 – The Childhood Dreams
I remember when I was a little girl I used to dream of
becoming a princess and meet my own prince charming. But I am no way a
princess. I guess I was always that skinny, shy girl who always live in her own
make believe world. I always feel insecure over those I find beautiful and rich.
I did not come from a rich family and to have those pretty clothes and toys always
ends up just a dream. I often pity myself
and my family. I remember telling my self that when I grow up I will give my
parents everything they want and they need.. This truly saddens me ‘coz it
never happened because of just one stupid choice!
Excerpt 2 – the High school
My highschool life is pretty normal I guess despite the fact
that I am the timid type; I did not end up being classified as the nerd. I
belong to the popular group those they call the cheerleaders and the jocks….
They say everything begins in Highschool …. Love and reality of life but this doesn't appeal to me at all. I never had
a boyfriend despite the urges of my peers but I couldn't find a place in my
heart to feel for one. I keep living in
fantasy, drooling over celebrities although there is this one guy I set my
heart on – but he just remains a vivid dream for me. A dream I would never attain. But I did love him for 3 years.. yes 3 years
of unrequited love. Because to him I am invisible and I have this fear I would
never pass his standard. So the dream and fantasy about him went on for 3 long
years.. 3 years of unrequited love.
Come senior year and
I fall in-love with this guy from school. At first it all started as forcing my
feeling to like him just to get over my unrequited love and then eventually the
feelings went deep. Until, I learn to truly love him. I wanted to keep that feelings
hidden. But Higschool secrets will never remain a secret once you told your friends. To make this short he courted me but i turn him down... he got hurt... he wen't away... I realized i was wrong... I was too late he fell in-love with another girl... I graduated in highschool full of regrets and with an empty lonely heart... My first ever heart ache.... stupid i am right?
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